the DVR

Ok, I’ll cop to it. I like TV. As much as I try to play the intellectual card and espouse my love of the written word while pooh-poohing the evils of the idiot box, I can’t deny that my house has four TVs and it is a rare day that I don’t turn on at least one of them. To my credit, I am particular about what I watch. I don’t do sitcoms (although I’ll make exceptions for reruns of Scrubs). I don’t do talk shows. I don’t do soap operas. I limit my reality shows to COPS, American Idol, and whatever design/chef contest is running on Bravo. I don’t know what’s playing on “Must See Thursday” and I don’t even know what network that is. I like Antiques Roadshow, Deadliest Catch, and Adult Swim. And although the TV is almost always on, I’m not always or even usually sitting in front of it, and sometimes even when I am I’m doing something else. It’s just there, like background music.

And in this state of Madonna-esque anti-television snobbery, I always laughed inside when people talked about TiVo or DVR as if it was the answer to their prayers. “TV,” I’d say, “is just not that important to me.” I vehemently refused to get involved in the drama series du jour; 24, The Sopranos, Gray’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Law & Order. Never saw ‘em. Never got involved. “I am above all that,” I’d think, “no DVR umbilical cord for me.” Until I got one.

Then WOOSH the whole thing changed! How great is it that I can go to Girl’s Night Out on Tuesday and not miss American Idol??? Or that I can watch old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and My So Called Life without having to get up at the ungodly hours they air??? (FX at 7am and Nogin at 5am respectively, in case you’re interested.) Or that I can search through a week’s worth of programming on the Independent Film Channel and record all the movies that never came to the theaters in this cultural wasteland of Volusia County??? Or that I never have to miss The Riches or House or The Daily Show because I’d rather be sleeping??? I’ll tell you how great it is – it is FREAKING AWESOME! It's like being able to be in two places at once, like cloning yourself so you can be a couch potato AND a social animal at the same time! It's like having your cake and Edith too!!! DVR really is the greatest thing since sliced bread! Ain’t technology grand?!?

I rate DVR 10 sparkly mushrooms!